Bigger than I Dreamed Possible
July 26, 2007 by jacquie.
Sometimes dreams come true that you haven’t even dared to dream. That happened to me last week. I attended a leadership workshop with 60 other coaches. We were describing a quest—not THE quest, but some quest that was worthy of our attention and aligned with our life missions. I chose to explore informing women about how PMS symptoms and peri-menopausal difficulties can be a wakeup call to look more deeply at how they are living their lives. Since I’m really interested in that topic and get enthusiastic responses from women who want more information or just nod knowingly, I started developing a plan on how to deliver that information. During the last interaction on the last day, I partnered with a woman I knew well by reputation and slightly in reality.
Actually, I was surprised Linda was in this seminar because I hadn’t known she was a coach; only coaches were invited. I love the work she has done. She has raised the money to start two schools for girls in Tanzania and Kenya. I’ve supported her projects and others funded by Global Partners for Development (
www.gpfd.org), and I was delighted to get the opportunity to know her better in this seminar. Suddenly, in the last minutes of the three day event, she asked me if I’d want to collaborate with her on a leadership program for the African girls and if I’d like to travel to Africa with her in January, 2008 to co-lead the program there.
This is bigger than a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to go to Africa! Always. I’ve loved the idea of sending these girls to school and I’ve even enlisted my friends to do little fund raisers to contribute to the very cause I was invited to facilitate. But in my wildest dreams, I never aspired to facilitate anything in that venue. I’ve taken a few days just to calm my breathing enough to think clearly about what I’ll have to do to accommodate this new project. I still don’t know, but I am certain to do what it takes to make it happen. Facilitating change in Africa and going on a safari! Could I ask for more?
I guess I could. I am asking myself how to make the money I’ll need for this trip. My travel expenses won’t be paid because the funds go to the programs. I’ve been giving some thought to that task, and right on cue, the Universe delivered a boost. I got two new clients on Friday which reassures me that more clients and book sales and ecoaching programs will bring in more income. Of course, I’ll borrow the money if that’s what it takes. I’ve always wanted to go to Africa, and having a purpose for going makes it all the more delicious!
I’d like to make some sort of coaching exercise out of this experience, but the only thing I can think of is to encourage you to keep developing your gifts and skills because you never know when your dream project will show up. Several of my friends have said, “You’ve been getting ready for this for a very long time!” I am grateful for my own perseverance!
©2007, Jacqueline Hale
Easy, Peaceful Feeling
July 23, 2007 by jacquie.
Last weekend, we attended the California World Music Festival in Grass Valley. Three things were absolutely perfect. OK, there were probably more than three things, but I want to mention three in this article: fabulous music, perfect weather, and a gathering of people who respect each other.
I suppose the music is a given. Why wouldn’t a music festival have great music? What amazed me was the variety of the music and the accessibility. There were five performance venues and the one hour sets were staggered so that we could walk around and hear bits of each group. When we found one we liked, we just sat down and enjoyed it. The organization of sound equipment alone was incredible. Imagine switching over from an Afro-Caribbean group of eight who dance around to a Sikh group of six musicians who sit on the floor. The microphone placement alone would be a challenge and the stage crews switched over in 30 minutes, including the sound check!
The weather was notable in being wonderfully warm –and without bugs! We were in the pines of the Sierra foothills, which meant there was always shade somewhere near the music stage and usually a little breeze. Last year, when we discovered this wonderful event, the temperatures were over 100 degrees, so this year’s 85 degrees was a dream come true. And in the evening, for the five hours of rotating sets, it was cool enough for a long sleeved shirt without down parkas! And no mosquitoes.
What I really want to write about were the people. I’d guess there were a thousand people there, maybe more. The attendees ranged from aging hippies to young families, and we saw every conceivable example of tie-dyed clothing ever invented. What was remarkable was the sense of ease. I think I’ve lived in an urban environment too long. It took me two days to realize that I was relaxed. People actually noticed if they might be blocking your view and asked if they should move their beach chair one direction or the other. Instead of irritated shifting from foot to foot, sigh to sigh while waiting at the food vendor’s booths, people started conversations and talked about their favorite curry or the jerk chicken across the way, and often said, “Don’t miss those amazing home-made ice cream drumsticks. They have either milk or dark chocolate and six varieties of ice cream!” What about that popcorn? Yum.
The most notable place to notice how people honored each other was the condition of the restrooms. I never saw an unflushed toilet, paper on the floor or hair in the sink. People passed new rolls of toilet paper under the door because they knew they had used the last sheet and didn’t want to leave the next inhabitant high and dry! Of course, the fairgrounds maintenance crew had something to do with this, but I’ve been to more events than I care to remember where the restrooms showed lack of concern for others. Here we were where people were camping for four days (or at least attending for 12 hours every day) and everyone was in community. The respect was so high that we could leave our belongings unattended and expect to find them there when we came back. Sigh. It felt like heaven.
To be honest, I had forgotten how that feels. I have become numb so that I can block out the rudeness and impatience of people. I have steeled myself so that I am not overrun by someone who is desperately trying to get the last piece or the best place. As I think about this, I realize there are a few other places I can relax, albeit on a smaller scale. Interestingly enough, one of them is a coffee house here in Berkeley that caters to the same crowd as the California World Music Fest . I’ll be going to Freight and Salvage on Friday to see Blame Sally, one of my favorite groups from the weekend! I am so thankful that I was immersed in that environment long enough to make me aware of that sense of community, and to remind me to look for other places where people honor and respect each other.
© 2007, Jacqueline Hale
Fourth of July Journal
July 23, 2007 by jacquie.
On the afternoon of July 4, I sat on my deck, reading, and I got to thinking about 4th of July’s past. I grew up on a lake and the tradition was for all of my mom’s sisters and their families to gather in the early afternoon and eat typical midwestern food: hamburgers, potato salad, baked beans, and beer. There wasn’t corn-on –the-cob because it was only “knee high by the fourth of July.” We had a lot of fun at the lake, swimming just sitting around swatting mosquitoes and talking. A least I remember it as fun, until later I learned there were lots of undercurrents of bad memories and hard feelings, but I was oblivious back then.
As I remembered there on my deck, I felt sad and irritated. Sad because I was alone in Berkeley on the 4th of July and irritated about all the unspoken irritations and frustrations that my family didn’t face directly. How could they have all these things going on in the pressure cooker and never address them? What’s wrong with them?
When I still felt unsettled this morning, I began to write about it in my journal. I’m always amazed at how the truth comes out as I write in my journal, which is why I am always encouraging people to journal. You’ll be amazed at what you learn about yourself when you decide on a topic and just start writing – no editing.
In this case, I thought I was mad at my family for having a good time when there are lots of unresolved issues, but I ended up writing about how I miss those family events! My feeling disgruntled was really sour grapes! I miss seeing the people with whom I have generational ties and inside jokes. Maybe I wanted to be disgruntled because I am a very different person from that girl at the lake and I fall into old patterns and it’s hard to be authentic with them. Maybe my own charade is the reason why I don’t see much of my extended family.
As I thought about this, I realized that I really respect their efforts at friendliness and camaraderie and I honor their good intentions, which gives me even more appreciation for the fun of those family times. It sure would be wonderful to revisit that lake and catch up with the Aunts. It can happen in my dreams!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you’ve been reading my articles for a long time, you know that I often add a coaching moment or a little exercise to illustrate how you could incorporate self awareness in your own life. Here goes:
1. Journal. You’ll be surprised at what you learn about yourself!
2. When you feel disgruntled, instead of thinking what’s wrong with them, look more deeply at your own feelings and you might discover something quite amazing!
Happy July!
©2007, Jacqueline Hale
How Do You Know You’re on the Right Path?
July 23, 2007 by jacquie.
This is always a tricky question for people seeking to be engaged in their lives. How do you know when a goal you’ve set is the best goal for you?
-
Does it engage your passion?
-
Do you light up when you think or talk about it?
-
Do you have no or only few doubts about your ability to deliver, even when you haven’t any idea how you will go about it?
Answering “yes” to those questions is the starting place for knowing you’re on the right path. I’ve gotten this far a number of times in my life, but then I get stalled. At least, it feels that way. The ultimate indicator of being on purpose is when unexpected events make your path easier.
Last week, I had very good evidence that my decisions of late have been in the right direction. First of all, I decided to concentrate my efforts on writing. I’ve continued to write weekly articles and I’ve started research on my book about co-parenting. In addition to feeling good about and being productive with my writing, I’ve had a few unexpected doors open to me.
Many people offered to help with my co-parenting research and I’ve already started doing the interviews. I’ve had excellent feedback from many areas about the need for such a book. Then yesterday, I got a phone call from the great folks at
www.selfgrowth.com offering me a featured writer position. This offer is amazing. It’s exactly what I need and is costing me very little. I had just said last week, that the place I’d really like to make a splash is at Self Growth. Suddenly the cosmic waitress delivers my dream!
This kind of unfolding is what tells me I made the right decision and I am moving in the right direction. I put in my order to the Universe and the cosmic waitress delivered. I feel totally blessed. When the whole thing is set up and you can see all the benefits I’ve gotten at Self Growth, I’ll let you know. In the meanwhile, imagine me sitting at my keyboard, smiling and appreciative as I design my life.
While I’m here, I’ll imagine you are there, designing your life so that your dreams come true! I look forward to hearing from you.
© 2007, Jacqueline Hale